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Stuff and things [5.3.10]
So Mum is in Darwin, I guess that warrants a bit of a pressie in the mail this week. I'm sure she's loving the VB and the heat, Mmmmmm.

There's a quadriplegic man on Millionaire tonight, kind of inspiring! I mean, days at home with the Internet and an active brain are kind of an advantage, so he just might make it! $50k so far, huge smile and they haven't been TOO condescending so far.

I'm just waiting for my 'stories' so I can catch up on whatever is decidedly NOT happening in the local area, and then back to the books. Have a sneaky plan to actually finish this degree in 2010, if I can just grow some discipline or something.
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I still exist! [5.2.10]
And I'm crazy happy in love and working hard and enjoying DIY cocktails in my down time. Too big for my jeans, and too happy to do anything about it. I'm REALLY only here to spy on a special cheese's wedding pics, you know, but might take a look around while I'm here. Kind of missed eljay!
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Am I REALLY that out of touch? [12.21.09]
Account inactive?
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Mereki got new tattoos! [2.20.09]
And a new (old) boyfriend and a new (temporary) job... but you'll have to play on facebook to find out about them. The idea of uploading to photobucket and linking to them is kind of dinosaurish, or maybe I'm just lazy.
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Home again home again jiggity jig [10.22.08]
Madly studying for an assignment (and trying to catch up on the 6 weeks worth of lead-up work at the same time) and eating truckloads of carbs during my week off. Oh, I wish I was more disciplined with these things.

I gots me a new tattoo for my birthday... and can't decide whether to add to it or not. It's a santa claus!

Clicky here for placement and a questionCollapse )

So, to shade or not to shade??

Meanwhile, I am driving a hot car and pashing random boys - or not so random, it's a small town and I'm afraid of new things - and being stalked by someone's psycho ex missus, all fun.

Oh yeah, and I fucked up an awesome job interview on Monday by accidentally insulting the HR rep. ("I chose tibetan script for my tattoo because it's slightly less tacky than chinese symbols... what's that you say? you have chinese symbols? aaaah, FAIL").

Got tickets to fotsun (that one guy!) and bluesfest (not sure who's on the bill yet but it doesn't matter) and am enjoying our new Thursday gigs at my second place of work and all in all life is merry.

So how fare thee, lj friends?
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A little help with the interior decorating side of things, pretty please???

I am trying to find a way to keep my red couches. It's just cheaper that way. And I'm maybe never going to get around to painting the big canvases I have hiding under my bed, so I'm poster shopping.

Drool, I never realised how many hours I could waste on this.

Let me give you an idea on the house/plans first. The idea is to avoid the Brady-Bunch browns, repaint some of the wood bits of furniture white or something, and go for a reds / greens / aquas / whites sort of thing. (Maybe - I'm open to colour suggestions).

First up I need two to go in the white spaces. The orange bits are my planned coat rack (hunting, hunting, hunting) and one of the finished canvases. OR this big ugly plant rack thing I scored at the Tender Centre today, depending which one I get around to painting first.

But because I'm paying for shipping from the US anyway, I figure I might as well buy 3. Or 4 at a real stretch...

SO. Votes please.... which of theseCollapse )would you choose? (Posted in the order I found them - looking for specific colours to start with, then got distracted by pretty shinies and started thinking about other rooms and other colours)

You think 14 is bad? I am watching 63 on ebay, hence the need for your advice.

ALSO. Tender Centres! Great idea - you don't know who bid what, so the paranoid greed monster inside your head says "I bet they bet more", and you get to scurry around and touch things and write on an important looking clip board....

I won $210 worth of stuff I don't need today.

Awesome though... I got these 2 sexy sexy chairs that are white leather with square legs and a UFO shaped seat and long thin rounded back plate things... like a stretched out space tooth, it kind of makes me think of the dentist. I'm in love - $78 for the pair.

Kind of like this:

And a cool retro corner desk thingamajiggo.

And a shabby chic type white cupboard thing.

And a shitty metal plant stand and a 70's TV Dinner tray with stand.

Oh I can't wait to begin the sanding! Hooray!
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ANOTHER photo post?

I'm just a cam-whoring hussy lately!

Having a great time hanging out with new and exciting people. Well, 'new' as in people I have neglected through the whole Aaron - Alli - night club scene. Perfect time of year for reconnecting, social season is upon us and all the loveliest have their birthdays!

Brielle included: She's the tongue-making one.

Then you get the Battle of the LITTLE MOUTHSCollapse )


Alli is moving out. Maybe as soon as this weekend. She chose the boyfriend over me. Well, not really, but I think she wants to just grown up and settle down and indulge in some serious one-on-one with the man, so it's time for us to part ways.

You mean my very own, bona-fide MEREKI space to call my own?Collapse )

New beginning, or at least a reinvention anyway. I'll always love the lady, but my world might be getting just that little bit bigger.

Next post: House photos. My newfandangled phone will take them and then talk to my computer, so I can share!
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It was the 17th of March - same day Adam's little princess was born - that I said:

"The problem is my happiness is not Aaron's happiness. My love is not even his love, he wants to be 'in love' and be intimate and spend hours gazing into each others' eyes and being romantic. My love is security and team work and shared goals, which is where the intimacy comes from. I'm afraid we just don't want the same things in life.

Plus I'm not doing him any favours by hanging on. I'm trying to protect him, which doesn't help. He has lessons he needs to learn and they are not my responsibility. Instead of protecting someone, it would be nice to be protected. I wish we wanted the same from a marriage, but we don't.

Which is why I'm ending it tomorrow.

He has the opportunity to leave with Yanni on Sunday and get some boy time in away from me and the whole situation. The poor man, I love him to death and I don't want to hurt him, but this has been coming for a while and to prolong it is not fair to either of us. I'm such a better person than I was when we were married at 22 and 23, I feel like I know myself better for it and I don't regret a thing. I just hope he's ok. I just hope he's going to be ok.I just love him, he's amazing, but there's nothing wrong with admitting we're not the right thing for each other."

Followed of course by all sorts of tears and wondering and champagne and nights on the town before I got to the point where I knew I was right.

I can't believe it's been almost 7 months.

I was thinking about pulling out the psychic reading I had that day, but I don't need to. It was neatly summarised in an lj entry for me!

Good to go back... there are a few sentences which really resonate with me, the biggest one being something I am already on the way to doing!

"This is the year that your head will learn to rule your heart - she is master of her own destiny but has not been master of her emotions (like a rollercoaster)"

And something about abandoning worn out emotions.

Here I was worrying that I haven't made any progress, and have been running around in circles! Can I be honest and say it's only very recently - like the last month or so - that I have started this lesson though?

Partly by way of a boy I have been dating (another story)

Partly through living with another girl and dealing with all the shit that brings (the co-habitation is about to end... also another story)

But mostly because I have finally realised I don't really LIKE being an emotional fuck sometimes. Letting them have complete control means you put yourself through all sorts of rubbish for very little gain sometimes. All a matter of attitude, really.

I had a 'moment' the other night where I was wallowing to myself and thinking "I shouldn't be lonely" when it struck me... maybe I should! Maybe instead of calling it 'lonely', if I reframe the way I think about it and treat it as either neutral, or hopefully positive, time with myself, it could even be helfpul!

Of course I still love people. But being comfortable in my own company, and not feeling 'ditched' because people choose to do other things, could be liberating!

So that is my next lesson. 'Head over heart' is not done and dusted, but I'm on the way, and ready for a new one. Especially since I'm not studying, so I might as well develop some other way.

PHOTO POST [10.10.07]

It was mostly novels, food, snorkels and sun! And mumsy and my Dad. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

The Whitsundays, daaarlink!Collapse )

In other news,

My birthday was magic (more photos of Sharn, the dresses, the Chinese Junk boat and the limbo once I get them)
The snap-lock laminate floors were an adventure which Darren withstood amazingly well
Allison has a confirmed melanoma and I have an excision next Monday just in case
I miss my family
My nose gunk smells like pus

How are you guys?

Oh yeah, I guess I'd better include one of me. Mum really doesn't take a flattering photo you know.

I didn't wear make up the whole week... so will boobies do?Collapse )
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Two nights in a row we've been in to town and returned home with no horrific stories or funny situations to talk about... must be getting old.

And boring.

And I LOVE it, it seems to be a bit of a local joke that we go home for a cup of tea, instead of a wild monkey shag or whatever those young folk do these days. I'm perfectly happy to be known as a granny on the inside, at least it keeps the meat-hunting single men away.

Got a 60 second chat with Aaron on Wednesday last week, and haven't heard a thing since. Yanni's phone has been off, which gives me all sorts of worries if I let my imagination have its way (ten car pileup on the highway, lost in the desert, drug induced coma, whatever...) but it's most likely a case of a misplaced charger or just plain couldn't-be-bothered or something.

Keeping busy has been good. Not as much emptiness to deal with that way, I keep wondering how Aaron feels when he wakes up in the morning though, and whether he has enough to fill his days. I do feel a bit lost, to be honest... sort of between lives or something.... though I'm sure that will get easier as I get more comfortable in my own skin/life/heart/whatever.

In the meantime uni is about to get hectic again. And I have an assignment to finish before I'm allowed to play jam night wines.

Happy Sunday!
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Bitch, moan, urgh. Why do I keep thinking it will be a good idea?

But it's so nice to go out with family - had Sharn, Andrew and Russel out last night, which is a rare occasion... drunken dancery at its worst. And at least I know there is someone in the world who vomits more painfully than me - Andrew has the most train-wreck grovel I've ever heard, and I suspect the neighbours (and their neighbours, and their neighbours) are thinking the same.

So, carpet shopping and homework today. And a quiet evening tonight, I am thinking of self nominating for deso driver just to avoid the pain that is champagne.

I have some magic photos coming, when I get the CD in the post from Mum. Which could be anywhere between next week and Christmas. The suspense is killing you, I know!
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That 1 Guy Dates - Sawtell on Anzac Day or Byron the day after?
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I just gave frank and honest feedback as a customer who respects the establishment and wants to see them happy.... my steak was dry and overcooked, the waitress cleaned about 4 tables and dicked about for a good 25 minutes before offering coffees, and there was no toilet paper in my cubicle.

It felt great to speak up about it, and I hope her $8 an hour ass gets kicked for it.
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Stupid ironman has blocked my stupid car in so I can't get it until the finish of the bike leg at 5pm. The whole town has gone lycra crazy, there are people in bike pants and sports nylon everywhere

Dear lady having breakfast across from us this morning: Just because your significant other wears a skin tight cycling suit as part of their hobby, DOES NOT mean you should show your support by also donning spray-on sportswear. Especially when it's quite obvious you don't work out.

These athletes and their hangers-on are like another species. They have descended on town and taken all our parks and blocked off the streets and none of them drink or smoke or laugh or seem to have ANY fashion sense. I can't wait for them to go home.
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OMG, they were right... Best biscuits ever.

If only I had the right stuff to make a tiramisu sundae.

Also, it's estimated there will be 60,000 paper cups used as part of the gigantic triathlon they're running across the road from my house tomorrow. That's a whole lot of trees, you stinking health freaks.
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I'm actually quite friendly, but... [3.17.07]

At the risk of keeping out those who I love most (Mum, Shmoe, I'm looking at you!) I really don't want to keep a public journal any more.

If you really loved me you'd prostitute yourself on teh Internets by joining lj and jumping on my 'friends' bandwagon.

All sorts of shennanigans await you inside! Comment to be added.
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8 of the most comforting words you'll hear [2.11.07]
Contact with facial skin may cause facial numbness.

I'm de-lousing the house. It's strangely satisfying watching them come scurrying out of their newly toxined homes only to meet the long-reach nozzle of DOOM. Shhht, POW, they drop dead. The bigger, stronger ones last a measly second or two, waving and trying to run. Cackle cackle cackle.

My kitchen floor is covered in soggy corpses (Because I'm washing surfaces too, and have never been a tidy cleaner), which makes for a happy Sunday.

I worked a shift at Supply Interruptions last night, which will be good for the pocket at the end of the fortnight. (Si is my old job, answering phones when people's power goes out. High stress, low brain involvement, great team, shit job). Crazy storms across the whole inland of NSW, they haven't been as constant as last year but they're certainly getting more vicious.

Which leads to a pretty mundane little political moment for MerekiCollapse )

PS. For those of you not in the know, or not familiar with the mighty Steve: Strine.

Unfortunately wikipedia and dictionary don't know what okka is. You could try Here, some sporting match or other... of you could just do as I do and assume it's a shortened version of the shortened version of Australia ( --->Aussie --->Okka).

So ends today's natural language class. Tomorrow: Pies. Mmmmm.

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BTW the same humble eraser will also remove the scuffs from your monstrous shoe collection on the back of your rental house cupboard.

Did yo uknow it is possible to revive RAM simply by rubbing it with a pencil eraser? We got the dreaded beep of doom about 6 weeks ago and had to removed a 512 stick. Turns out it just wanted a light rubbing and it's back in action. Go me!

Toby takes his modem with him this afternoon, and after that I am internetless for up to 2 weeks. You would think in this day and age it could happen quicker than that. I wonder if work will let me study there after 5pm next week to catch up on the 6 weeks of uni I've neglected so far?

Pictures of the new dwelling to come once we're connected again. Goodbye, sweet Internets. Hopefully SMS will fill the void.

I think this is going to improve our relationship heaps. We had a huge fight at Toby's 21st last weekend, all sorts of frustrations coming out under cover of the champagne. I told him I deserved better and he cried and I cried and I took off in a strange Suburb in the opposite direction to the train station I was looking for. Thank god for patient cousins, hey? It felt sort of good to be an emotional wreck for once... plenty of rambling to Aaron's mum helped. Things are better this week because Aaron is working - perfect weather, plenty of jobs for them to do - and I am reminded daily that I'm lucky to have a man who loves me even in his deepest sleep.

The beginning of a new family era! Our own little love nest! I can't wait to leave him special notes in unexpected places and leave the bathroom naked and do it in the kitchen because we CAN. Hooray! A real married life, at last.

Just got to get through the move. Groan. Wish us luck, I'll see you on the other side with a mortgage and a real home.
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